I have seen an increase of disagreements on social media recently. We all know what has happened in the political and judicial world this week, but I am not focusing on that in this post. Tonight I want to talk about how and why we respond to some people we disagree with differently than other people we disagree with. The difference is simple, love or fear.
Most of us have passionate beliefs, ones that we build our lives around. Then when something happens in the larger reality that disagrees with or challenges our beliefs we respond. How we respond is what I have been watching.
There are people who disagree with you but you are able to read/hear their opinion and “get” what they are saying even if you don’t agree. Then there are others who as soon as they open their mouth/start to type you can feel your blood boil. What is the difference? The difference is love or fear, for both the sender and receiver.
When someone speaks of something they are passionate about because it brings them joy/love/happiness. They communicate differently than those whose passion about something is born from fear.
When someone comes from the experience of love and joy in their life the energy and the words of their communication is different. They may ask or invite you to consider something or maybe even just tell you what their experience has been but it lacks the edge of “if you don’t believe me we will all die/go to hell” or “you are an idiot”. They can and do stand up for themselves if needed but without putting anyone else down. This is where reasonable communication can happen even when people disagree and it’s based in love/happiness and joy.
The communication that starts in fear garners, grows and builds more fear. That is why your blood boils. That is why you see red. At least you do, until you know you don’t need to anymore. And you won’t need to anymore once you understand that those people who are calling names, screaming and yelling, being nasty and ugly are the ones who are the most scared and fearful. They live a life that requires you agree with all they say/believe or terrible things will happen. Their life depends on you agreeing with them and they don’t even know you. Can you image how terrifying that must be?
Then of course there is how we choose to respond. If you find yourself wanting to scream and yell and call names in response to someone else, regardless of what they say, then my questions for you would be are you coming from that place of love/joy/happiness or are you coming from that place of fear? Why do you need them to agree with you in this moment? Why do you need anything at all from them?
Be passionate about what you love, about what brings you happiness. That is where your ability to change your life, to change the world lives. We don’t need everyone to agree with us to change the world. Let that go.