For the First Time

Brought to tears
By the beauty of the wasteland
Of my past
I am honored by all that I have been given

For the first time

Judgments float by untethered and released
I breathe in the purity of my soul

For the first time

I touch the air warm and thick with potential
And the masses in my perception disintegrate

For the first time

The truths of my obsessions and the timing of my fears
Ring false and out of rhythm with the quietness within

For the first time

I am the knowing and the being
I am the guide and the guided
The fearful and the courageous
The lies and the truth

For the first time

I am the beauty
I am the love
I am the everything

For the first time

I am all.

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Allow It To Be

And then it is gone

The power in the belief

Of the lie

That I am a victim

A victim of anything

 

I watch as my Being

Unties

Unravels

And expands

 

The beliefs that let the lie slide into my truth

Disappear

Vanished like the fallacies that they were

Leaving no trace of my former self

But always never ending the same Being

 

And as I sit and watch

The cells of my body start to vibrate

And the world shifts around me

 

No movement or fear as Spirit comes through me

I am lighter, stronger, flexible and true

I am clear, powerful, humbled and grateful

 

I am everything that I always have been

And now I allow it to Be

Surrender My Luv

There are ideas that are floating just outside of my consciousness.  I find myself trying to grasp them at least long enough so that they can take form in a way that I can understand.  Dancing outside on the fringes of what I know are concepts that I will soon embrace as truth.  The wisdom of the universe is sitting quietly waiting for me to open up and finally know that it has always been there, to remind me of what I have always known.  The universe is calmly and with love and gentle expectancy teasing my awareness to widen.  I don’t know if the pictures I am seeing are things that have already happened or if they are things I have yet to experience.  Then, as I write this I understand that it is both.  It is what I have done, am doing and will do all designed together into a beautiful picture of truth. I understand that all of this is the key to where I am going or who I am becoming.  And so it is clear that I am to surrender.  I am to surrender to the unknown that is already known.

Sometimes you just need to lay on the floor and cry

I spent part of yesterday afternoon laying in the middle of my living room floor crying.  I mean really crying.  You know those sobs that rack your body and make you a snot machine?  Yup, that is what I did while my Tobey and the kittens sat there watching me.  Now, if you are reading this and you know me at all you have already seen me cry.  I cry when I am sad, angry, touched and happy.  If you don’t know me you probably never want to as I am sure that the earlier sentence has just scared you away.  Ha!  Anyway, the point I am trying to make is that crying is a natural part of being human, for me.  And, I embrace it for anyone and everyone who is interested!

See, I don’t know about you, but I have a tendency to put up blocks when there is something I do not want to face or to do.  I can be VERY stubborn and sometimes it takes me breaking down in the middle of the living room floor in tears to finally let go and allow the inner guidance/higher self/divine wisdom come out.  As the voice of the Divine said to me  yesterday “You don’t need to let me in – you  need to let me out”.  These sessions are always clearing and cleansing for me.  I surrender and let go of how I think it should be and let myself be shown what can be.  Well, I saw it and it is beautiful.  I understand that my fear of being judged has kept me in a holding pattern of sorts.   As soon as I fear that I will be judged I am judging someone else.  It is amazing how it works out.  I love the paradox of life.

And so it is time to jump off of the cliff, again.  I know that I am already being held so the “jumping” is only in my experience of being human.  My spirit is already flying.